I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
