your room smells of hookers.
And success
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
