Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
