im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
