there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
