Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
