And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I have tasted many bathrooms
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize