If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
