i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize