The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
