We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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