WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
