I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
