didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
