i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
