wrigley field is MILF paradise
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
There's even glitter on my cock...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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