Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
