Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
