don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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