the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The adults are the big ones right?
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