Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
