don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
