Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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