There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he was CRYING into my vagina
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
