hotel room ftw
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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