At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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