Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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