You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
