Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
