My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
