i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
