Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
