My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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