i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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