U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
