I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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