she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize