just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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