Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
