Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Jerry, you need to find god
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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