Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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