we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
