Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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