You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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