Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
