No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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