Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
