I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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