Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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