On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
