My first STD was from a foam party
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
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