Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
