I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
