Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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