Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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