Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
