playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
