They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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